LDR for Beginners: It Takes Work.

See, the thing about long-distance relationships is, they are hard.

I mean REALLY HARD. Really freakin' hard.

Whenever people tell you that LDR is usually hard at first, be in doubt. I beg to disagree. I see LDR like an arcade game: you breeze through it at first, and then as the level goes up, the difficulty increases. During the first few weeks, both of you are still emotionally high on that 'being-apart' state of mind: you call each other like crazy, talk on YM or Skype like there's no tomorrow, post mushy messages on each other's wall on Facebook, and more lengthy phone calls that will probably cost you a hundred bucks more than your normal phone bill. Both of you are still convincing yourselves that this will work, we can do this, no matter what. 

But, like waking up from a glorious dream, the excitement eventually wears off. A few months down the road, you go on with your own lives. There's work, family commitments, social engagements, studies, stress, problems..a lot happens with the two of you apart. That's when the real work begins. You try to sync your schedules, considering inescapable factors such as time difference, work/study schedules, etc. When one is unavailable, you can't do anything about it. Calling is the only other option, and sometimes that doesn't work as well. Celebrations are limited to FedEx gifts, webcam dinners, or if one can afford it, surprise homecomings. Personal rendezvous are few and far in between. Even fights are hard to do, if you are constrained to typing words and throw in some emoticons to show how angry you feel. Misunderstandings can be achieved to a  normalcy. Frustrations reach sky-high. Doubts intrude your mind, they linger and hover.  And on top of all those, you get to juggle trust, faith, commitment, honesty and love all the same time. If one falls to the ground, well.. Houston, we have a problem.

I am not trying to scare couples out there who are thinking of embarking on a LDR. Far from it. I consider this as a pep talk. I've always believed that when you're going to try something new, think of the worst that could happen. If it's not a matter of life or death, then chances are everything's going to be ninety percent alright. Then work yourself up. Every relationship takes work, a long-distance relationship takes double work. Face the facts: there will be problems along the way. It is inevitable. There will be a lot of crying, fears, judgments, doubts, paranoia, mood swings, petty fights, major fights, conundrums, dilemmas, you name it. But you know what's the worst part of an LDR? I call it - the "miss you" attacks. These are the times that I hate the most. You're in the middle of the day and you just have an urge to call or see your other half. When you get home from work or school, you want to be with your partner just to tell about how your day went. Share a kiss or a hug or a smile or a laugh or a caress or a shoulder to lean on. Physical urges that can be impossible because of distance. Missing the other person that it slowly drives you insane. Seriously. 

So there you go. Those are the things that you may face during an LDR.To conquer it,  it takes work. Real, hard work. And if you both do your work, it pays off. It's amazing how you can appreciate the beauty of love through distance: consciously deciding to love someone even if you can't be with them in the same place, at the same time. I can honestly say that I am constantly humbled being in a long-distance relationship. It makes you a better person without you realizing it. There are times that you just want to give up and say the hell with it, but then your partner will be there to support you and remind you of why you're doing this in the first place. Then you remember. And you smile, knowing that you are not alone, you have someone worth doing this for all over again and you are.. loved.