LDR Survival Tip #2: Make Your Own Square Principle

If my LDR was a shape, it will definitely look like a square.

If you were to ask me what are the cornerstones of a long-distance relationship, I would answer four basic, yet essential, things (my Square Principle*): Trust, Faith, Commitment, and Communication (TFCC). Throughout the course of my relationship, I've always wondered what are the things that make a long-distance relationship up and running. Is it just love? Attraction? Common ground? Well, for me, love is not enough. I love my boyfriend, yes, but it doesn't define my relationship with him. A lot of other things also play a part, and with love, it makes the relationship tolerable, strong.

 Without a doubt, trust is an important part in any relationship.  However, a LDR requires a little bit more trust than any normal relationship, mainly because of the physical barrier that separates the both of you. This is how I see trust should be done, in the following order: trust in God, trust in yourself, and then trust your partner. You can never trust your partner if you don't trust yourself. Can I do this? Can I endure the sisyphean burden of a long distance relationship? Am I strong enough to overcome any challenges that I will encounter for this relationship? Before you embark on a LDR, ask yourself these questions. If you trust yourself enough, trusting your partner will come naturally, effortlessly.


In this context, faith is simply believing that the relationship will work. No matter what. It. Will. Work. Just believe. No questions, no rationalizations, no statistics, no proofs, no doubts, no what if's. It's like jumping off an unknown cliff, consequences be damned.

What are the reasons that you commit? I agreed to be in a long-distance relationship because I know that my boyfriend is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know that after all of this, the end credit subtitle will be: we are going to be together..eventually. Call it foolishness, stupidity, romanticism, fantasy, optimism, whatever you want to call it. I can try to give you reasons, but it will come out as lifeless, banal, predictable. Sometimes, there are things that you just know in your gut. This is one of them.  

I think communication is one of the most overrated things in a long-distance relationship. You might think it weird but I find it tiring, even desperate, when you have this constant need to talk to your partner. We all need our breathing room, our own personal bubble once in a while. If you haven't talked to your partner in days, I think that's normal. One thing I learned about communication in a long distance relationship is, even if we don't do it often, you will always fill each other up with anything once you have the chance to talk, and it feels like you just hit the pause button on your conversation the last time, then keep on playing again. Just keep in mind: life happens even when we will it to stop, and it keeps on happening; so deal with it!

So how about it? What's your own LDR principle? If you do have one, I'd love to hear it!

*I call it the square principle because in a square, all sides are equal. The four things mentioned above should be treated as equal too; no more, no less.